Homer the Republican

What is it about sanctimonious, God-fearing Republicans?

They can’t just flame out with a simple extra-marital affair. Or a little problem with some pills. Oh no. It must be spectacular. So South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, late of the “rising Republican stars for 12″ team, has finished off his political career with a fabulous mess of lies, diversions, derelictions of duty, and…oh yeah…an Argentinian dominatrix.

OK I made that last part up for the sake of alliteration but who knows?

As we all know by now Sanford seemingly vanished off the face of the earth for nearly a week. His wife said she didn’t know where he was. His staff said they didn’t know. Then they did. Hiking in the mountains. Then he appeared at Atlanta airport. Fresh from hiking the Appalachian Trail? Not exactly.

Instead Sanford was, as he finally confessed at a tear-soaked news conference, in Argentina visiting his mistress.

There must be a confessional flu bug spreading through the GOP that poor Governor Sanford caught. Just last week Nevada Senator John Ensign — another holier-than-thou Christian Republican — admitted he’d had an affair with a staffer who happened to be the wife of another staffer. Nothing like keeping it in the family.

Of course then there was hooker-loving Louisiana Senator David Vitter who is up for reelection in 2010. And don’t forget “wide-stance-in-the-stall” Idaho Senator Larry Craig whose Minneapolis airport bathroom fun ended his career. I could go on but you get the idea.

For Republicans the hits just keep coming. Just as public opinion polls show a slight softening of support for Barack Obama after six months of rock-star bullet-proof approval ratings, Republicans will again spend some time in the cross-hairs of the 24/7 cable news maw and late-night comedians. The GOP message has been pretty consistent, if not terribly effective, all year: The Dems are pouring your money down the drain. Sooner or later as the economy only slowly improved, that message was going to start working with some disillusioned independents. But now? Maybe it will be better in the fall.

The inherent problem for Republicans is that their brand is indelibly tied to Christian conservatism which is, at its root, a preachy, moralistic, high-handed form of politics that creates huge potential blowback problems if Republican politicians fail to practice what they preach. Democrats have never faced such a dilemma since they’re immoral. Kidding.

It reminds Get Real of numerous pieces of research that illuminate the essential hypocrisy of so much conservative moralizing. There’s the study showing that generally speaking, the more religious the state the more online pornography is downloaded. And a whole bunch of studies showing divorce rates highest in the Bible Belt and lowest in the Northeast. Or what about the one showing that religious girls are no less likely to get abortions (pay) than their less religious counterparts. Is it any wonder that it’s so often Republicans that seem to get caught up in these things?

While the GOP certainly can’t abandon its conservative religious supporters the party needs to figure out how to appeal to them without also having to pander to them. To expect that future Republican politicians will somehow be more truly righteous (and less self-righteous!) is ridiculous. Men will be men. Too often the little head takes control of the big head. It’s nature. For Republicans, admitting that would be a start.